Silly Faces In Strange Places: A Fluffy Rumbelle One-Shot

It was a beautiful morning in the Enchanted Forest and Belle French woke at first light. She figured that she should get an early start on the chores before Rumplestiltskin returned from his journey. Belle spent the morning sweeping, dusting and doing the laundry. Before she knew it, it was noon. So Belle decided to prepare Rumple’s lunch.

The sound of the opening castle doors startled Belle as she set his lunch on the table. Rumplestiltskin entered the room with a flourish and sat down to eat. Belle noticed two similar, strange objects that he placed on the table. Of course, naturally, they piqued her curiosity.

“What are you standing around for, dearie?” Rumple asked, slightly annoyed.

“I was actually curious as to what those strange devices are.” Belle replied.

Rumple sighed as he began to explain.

“If you must know, they are cellphones and they come from the Land Without Magic. I received them from a deal I made.”

Belle’s eyes lit up as she toyed with one of those ‘cellphones’. She touched the camera icon and was pleasantly surprised to see Rumple’s face appear on the screen. Amazed by the new discovery, Belle exclaimed,

“You’re inside of the phone Rumplestiltskin! Is this some sort of portal!?”

Rumple whisked the phone from Belle’s dainty fingers. He had the camera pointed at her as he touched a circular button on the screen. The phone made a clicking sound and Rumple gazed in awe at his photogenic Belle. His Belle? Rumple quickly shook the thought from his mind.

“It seems this phone can capture a person’s reflection.” Rumple explained as he showed Belle her picture.

“That is quite fascinating! I do wish I could play around with it, but I have dishes to wash.”

Rumple thought to himself before deciding to play a little game.

“I’ll make you a deal, dearie. Finish up those dishes and then you may have one of these phones. I have a condition, of course. You will play a little game with me, using these devices.”

Belle wasn’t quite sure what game he wanted to play, but she was most definitely interested and up for the challenge.

“It’s a deal. Pleasure doing business with you, Rumplestiltskin.” Belle replied as she curtsied.

Once she finished the dishes, Belle found Rumple at his spinning wheel. Without a word, he handed her a phone. Rumplestiltskin would never admit he kept the phone with her picture for him to admire.

“Thank you so much. But now I must ask what game is it that you had planned?” she asked.

Sensing her eagerness and excitement, Rumple made her wait a minute or two before replying. With a sly grin, he said,

“You will go into town to fetch me some more straw. While you’re out, take the silliest picture of yourself that you can think of. I will do the same here while I wait for you to come back. I have a client, Jefferson, coming by later and he will decide who’s picture is silliest.”

Belle was almost bouncing with excitement; how could she turn down such a fun challenge?

“Sounds delightful!” Belle exclaimed, “I’m in!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Belle was walking through the forest on her way to town when she came across a fiery-haired stranger.

“Who goes there?” asked the woman.

“Oh, do not be alarmed. I am just going into town to fetch some straw. I’m Belle!” she said as she shook the stranger’s hand.

“My name’s Merida, nice to meet you, Belle.” Merida replied in her Scottish accent.

Belle couldn’t stop thinking how alike Merida sounded to Rumple. Then she remembered the game she was supposed to play. She took the device out from under her cloak and explained how it worked to Merida. So she handed the phone to the Scottish beauty to take the picture.

“We have to make the silliest faces possible!” Belle explained to her new fiery-haired friend. 

They made their silliest faces and Merida snapped the photo. Belle and Merida burst out laughing at their silly faces. 

“Thank you, Merida! This is sure to win!” Belle exclaimed.

They said their goodbyes and parted ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, at the Dark Castle, Rumple was thinking of a silly photo to take. Eventually, he pulled back the sheet that covered the mirror. He snapped a quick picture and covered the mirror up again. He glanced at the photo he took. The phone covered half of his face and his eyes were significantly widened. It’ll have to do, he thought.

“Boo!”

Rumple jumped and turned around to find Jefferson sitting upon the table. Just then, Belle returned with the straw. As she went to place the straw by Rumple’s wheel, Rumple told Jefferson about their game.

“I’d love to judge and pick the funniest, so-called ‘photo’. Jefferson replied.

Belle excitedly walked up to Jefferson to show him her photo with Merida. Rumple found her enthusiasm rather adorable, but he quickly pushed the thought from his mind. Rumple was interrupted from his thoughts as Jefferson’s laughter rang through the castle.

“This is hilarious, Belle! I think you already have ol’ leather pants beat!”

Belle stifled a giggle at Jefferson’s remark. Rumple looked over Belle’s shoulder to see her picture. Though he didn’t know the who the woman with the fiery locks were, he admitted to himself that it was rather funny–adorably funny. He could never admit that to anyone.

“Well, I’m positive it can’t beat MY photo!” Rumple exclaimed.

Belle looked over at his phone and giggled so hard, she snorted. Rumple’s eyes lit up like fireworks. 

“Ahhh!” Jefferson screamed with mocking terror, “I’m not sure if it’s funny or slightly creepy.”

Rumple growled towards the mad buffoon. Belle quickly calmed him by patting his shoulder. He allowed himself to enjoy the quick moment.

“Belle definitely won this game.” Jefferson told them.

Then he disappeared in a puff of smoke. Rumple and Belle started bantering about why he poofed Jefferson out of the castle as he kept insisting that he won. 

“Well, I know for a fact you kept that phone to have a photo of me.” Belle retaliated smugly.

“Listen to you and your romantic delusions. I simply kept your photo in case you go missing and I have to ask for help to find you. Good maids are hard to come across.” Rumple replied nervously.

Belle just rolled her eyes and carried on to the library as Rumplestiltskin ranted to himself.

OUAT Song Sppof (Gangsta Crocodile: The Hip-Hop Ballad of Rumplestiltskin)

That crocodile don't, that crocodile don't, that crocodile don't want none unless you've got a hook son.

Boy toy named Hook used to live in Mist Haven. Big ladies man hottie, he was gettin’ some action. Was runnin from the law, but he lives on a ship. He stole my wife, Milah. He was gettin’ me pissed.

Now that’s real real real. His heart in my bag, bitch I came here to kill. He’s gonna be first. I’ll have him pushin’ up daisies. I’m twisted as hell, of course,  I’m so crazy. I’m on a vendetta.

By the way, what he say? He can tell I ain’t missin’ no deals. Come through & kill him in my automobile. Give him so damn much pain to feel. He keep tellin’ me to chill. He keep tellin’ me it’s real, I have no more time to kill. Because I don’t like him alive, in pain he will writhe. So I pulled up in the Caddie, & with my cane I hit him with a jab like…dun-d-d-dun-dun-d-d-dun-dun

That crocodile don’t, that crocodile don’t. that crocodile don’t want none unless you’ve got a hook son.

Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Look at his hook.

This man-child named Pan used to fly in Neverland. Ego bigger than a ogre, I ain’t talkin’ bout shrek. Real punk ass creeper, made me emotionally wrecked. Squid ink put his ass to sleep, now he callin’ me Rumple. Now that Pan, Pan, Pan. I sacrificed myself to kill, kill him. And now I’m back, and I wanna crush a pirate. I’m on a vendetta.

By the way, what he say? He can tell I ain’t missin’ no deals. Come through & kill him in my automobile. Give him so damn much pain to feel. He keep tellin’ me to chill. He keep tellin’ me it’s real, I have no more time to kill. Because I don’t like him alive, in pain he will writhe. So I pulled up in the Caddie, & with my cane I hit him with a jab like…dun-d-d-dun-dun-d-d-dun-dun

That crocodile don’t, that crocodile don’t. that crocodile don’t want none unless you’ve got a hook son.

Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Look at his hook.

Got a little sex appeal, but he got much hook.

Got a little sex appeal, but he got much hook.

Got a little sex appeal but he got much hook.

Oh my gosh (look at his hook)

That crocodile don’t, that crocodile don’t. that crocodile don’t want none unless you’ve got a hook son.

(don’t don’t don’t) that crocodile don’t

(don’t’ don’t don’t) don’t want none unless you’ve got a hook son.

Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Oh my gosh, look at his hook. Look at his hook.

Yeah, he hate this dark one. Yeah! This one is for my bitches with a dark side in fucking Storybrooke. I said, “where my dark sided bitches in Storybrooke?” Fuck those hero bitches, fuck those hero bitches in Storybrooke. I wanna see all the dark sided bitches in motherfucking Storybrooke. Fuck you if you hero bitches. What? Yeah! Yeah. I’m the dark one! Bring it!

Once Upon A Time Parody of Taylor Swift's Shake It Off

So, I changed most of the words to make it sound like Regina's point of view lol. Below the lyrics is the music video I made of the original TSwift song featuring the one & only Captain Hook with the hella good hair. (only his picture. not really him).

"Cast A Spell Lyrics"

I won't leave it up to fate

Got an idea in my brain

to find the author of the book mhmm

to find the author of the book mhmm

I just lost my date

cause I couldn’t make him stay

 he’s going his own way mhmm

going his own way mhmm

But I keep pacing

Can't stop, won't stop thinking

It’s like there’s no happy ending

for my kind

So maybe this really is goodbye

'Cause the children gonna play, play, play, play, play

And Marian’s gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna cast, cast, cast, cast, cast

I cast a spell, I cast a spell

Robin’s gonna have my heart break, break, break, break

And Emma keeps pushing Killian away

Baby, I'm just gonna take, take, take, take, take

back what is mine, what is mine.

I sit here in defeat

listening to my heart beat

And I just wanna rip it out mhmm

I just wanna rip it out mhmm

I won’t answer my phone 

cause I need to get in the zone 

And that's what they don't know, mhmm

that's what they don't know, mhmm

But I keep pacing

Can't stop, won't stop thinking

It’s like there’s no happy ending

for my kind

So now I’m gonna put up a fight

'Cause the children gonna play, play, play, play, play

And Marian’s gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I just gotta recuperate 

from this heartbreak, from this heartbreak

Robin’s making my heart ache, ache, ache, ache

And Emma’s gonna fall into a lovestruck state

Baby, I just gotta reevaluate my fate

So I cast a spell, I cast a spell

Cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell

Hey, hey, hey

Just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world,

You could've been getting down to this sick beat.

My ex-man brought his living dead wife

She's like "Oh, my god!" but I just want her head on a spike!

And to the Dark One over there with the hella good hair

Won't you come on over, Gold? We can Cast. A. Spell.

Yeah ohhh

'Cause the children gonna play, play, play, play, play

And Marian’s gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

I'm just gonna take, take, take, take, take

back what is mine, what is mine

Not gonna allow my heart to break, break, break 

Emma needs to be with Killian for goodness sakes 

Baby, I'm just gonna take, take, take, take, take

back what is mine, what is mines 

So I Cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell

Cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell

Cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell,

I, I, I cast a spell, I cast a spell

Warning! Spoilers! Once Upon A Time Season 3 Premiere!

     Ahhh! This! This was the moment I've been waiting for; the moment all oncers have been waiting for. First I must say the premiere was amazing! Such an exciting kick off to yet another awesome season. Just so ya'll know, I ship Rumbelle (Rumpel and Belle), SwanFire (Emma and Baelfire), and of course Snowing (Snow White and Prince Charming). So I'm going to take this scene by scene and offer up my thoughts on this premiere. Enjoy!

Alright, so first off, what a wicked storm that was. Mermaids are nasty little creatures, and as Regina said, "Filet the bitch!" That was some crazy girl fight that broke out. Then, to have Hook and Charming fight. Oh and when Emma jumped off the ship, then proceeded to get knocked out by something that fell off the ship...wow. I was freaking. out. Baelfire is totally rocking the magic thing. I'm so relieved that he's alive. He is Emma's true love fo sho. Rumpelstiltskin is effing amazing! With him, everything is possible. These six legends are gonna kick some Neverland ass. Kudos, to ole Rumpel for volunteering to help rescue Henry. Old Peter Pan pulled a fast one on us. How dare he take Henry. The real question is, why does he want Henry? Henry is the truest believer, but why would Pan need him? Pan already believes in all of this.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Until the next episode, goodbye dearies.

xoxo, Shelbs <3