Renew Witches Of East End!

Friday, October 25, 2013

Dear Mr. Fitz...

Dear Mr. Fitz, what made you so angry at life that you have to go after these 5 girls? Are teenage girls your weakness, like kryptonite is to superman? I hope you know that you didn't just break Aria's heart...you've broken the entire fan base's hearts. I am so disappointed in you. -Shelbs


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Dear Mr. Fitz, do you even have an actual master's degree? What makes you so qualified to be a high school english teacher? You're trying to kill a few specific students. What are you gonna do when they find out you're A?? Text them their grades as A? How did you not have a criminal record before this? Were you not required to have a background check? I don't remember schools allowing psychopathic stalkers to become teachers. Just sayin'. -Shelbs


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Dear Mr. Fitz, I sit here curled up in my bed and lost in my thoughts. So, therefore, I must ask...what is your motive to be terrorizing these girls? What did they do to you??? I mean, sure, Alison might have done something a little cruel, but why punish her friends (especially Aria) for her wrong doings? Even if she did do something cruel, you're even worse than her. If you ask me, all signs just point to pedophilia. I have no other logical answer for your motive other than that. You, my dear Ezra, are a pedophile. -Shelbs


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Dear Mr. Fitz, how are you? I'm sure you're feeling sinister today. Something just came to my mind. Do you have genuine feelings for Aria, or have you been playing her like guitar strings? It is a curious thing. You did warn her to be careful in Ravenswood. So I have a couple of theories:
1.) You genuinely fell in love with Aria before you realized she was one of Alison's friends, but still couldn't bear to hurt her. So you didn't terrorize Aria as much.
2.) You've been playing her since the day ya'll met at the bar and the reason you haven't completely torn her to pieces like the others, is because you have something in mind for the near future.
3.) You could just be a darn sociopath.
-Shelbs


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Dear Mr. Fitz, I re-watched the halloween episode and I must say, you fight worse than a girl. It actually seemed like you were too scared to even lay a hand on Spencer. Tsk Tsk. If you're gonna be the leader of a psychotic group of people, you need to at least learn how to fight. You're too much of a pansy. You didn't knock Spencer out yourself. She just happened to be taken by surprise when you grabbed her and she hit her head...you did not push her. I know this because you pushed her at the beginning and it was so weak. Some villain you are. The picture below might explain why you're such a pansy hehe. And no Spencer, he did not find his nuts. -Shelbs

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Dear Mr. Fitz, as you can tell, I simply cannot take you seriously even though you're A. I think that out of all the reveAls, yours is the funniest. It is also the most heart-breaking, but still hilarious. Do you even know what you're doing? And besides, if A is so great at finding out information, how did you not know Malcolm wasn't your son beforehand? No wonder you need more than just yourself doing the dirty work, because you're terrible at it. You should know by now that I can't take you seriously just because this entire blog post is making fun of you in every single way. Duh. -Shelbs

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Dear Mr. Fitz, I must say you're too obvious for your own good. You never had that legitimate explanation as to why you had $50,000 in your sock drawer instead of a freakin' bank. Aria should have known you didn't get that much money for a car, especially when Jason was offering $50,000 for information on Alison's body. And let's not forget your taste of older music. At the end of almost every episode, there's usually an oldies song playing. Oh and don't forget that when Noel confronted you, you looked very guilty after he wrote the letter A in a red pen. Oh and let's not forget that the girls should have realized that Ali ran off right before you came around the corner in the halloween episode. Suspicious much? Spencer should have noticed that you kept your right hand in your pocket the entire time too. You've looked quite guilty in a lot of situations actually. These are things that make you go hmmm. -Shelbs

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Dear Mr. Fitz, in conclusion, you should just give up now. They're gonna find out it's you in the next half of the season, I'm sure. So you might as well surrender. Not only will Aria kick your butt after she goes through a mental breakdown, but so will the fanbase. Muahahaha! Did you really think no one else was after you? You have poor judgement, Ezra. You'll never get yourself out of this mess. Time is ticking, Mr. Fitz and you oughta watch your back. Kisses, -Shelbs. 

Instead of Mona, it will be you!



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